77
OVR
27
6'0"
195 lbs
6
Archetype
“The Scheming Statistician”
Backstory
Undrafted in 2020 after scouts noted he "played too much Madden and not enough Jugs machine"; he bounced between three CFL teams before Brinewater offered him a contract worth $4.50 and a year's supply of electrolyte powder. His hands are inexplicably reliable despite appearing to be made of wet cardboard when he's on the sideline.
In the Booth
Speaks in deliberate, measured cadence with frequent sighs, as if perpetually disappointed that gravity continues to function.
Catchphrases
The analytics clearly support my life choices, which is troubling
I'm not arguing with the ref, I'm just explaining why he's statistically wrong
Known Quirks
Spends practice breaks posting unhinged statistical analysis as dramatic TikToks with Mariah Carey music in the background
Refuses to wash his jersey during winning streaks because he claims the sweat is "biologically lucky and probably tradeable"
Team
Brinewater Tide
Brinewater