⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
#67
LB⚡ CHAOTIC SOCIAL

Mitch Colebrew

Brinewater Tide

85

OVR

Age

28

Height

6'2"

Weight

245 lbs

Pro Yrs

6

Stat nerd who's somehow right about everything before it happens

Quit a promising salsa dancing career to monetize his obsession with pre-snap prediction algorithms. Now leads the league in 'actually calling the play correctly from the sideline while eating a protein bar.'

Sounds like he's explaining why you're statistically wrong about a topic you didn't ask about.

Wire-rimmed glasses held together with athletic tape; perpetually squinting like he's reading invisible subtitles during huddles. Has a visible pen mark on his wrist from constantly revising his play-calling notes.

Actually, the tape disagrees with that narrative

The model had that play at 73% probability

Consults a smartwatch before every snap (definitely not synced to anything—he just stares at it)

Keeps a laminated spreadsheet in his locker labeled "Advanced Situational Decision Tree Volume IV"

BWT

Brinewater Tide

Brinewater