⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
#61
WR⚡ CHAOTIC SOCIAL

Piston Merriweather

Brinewater Tide

76

OVR

Age

27

Height

6'0"

Weight

196 lbs

Pro Yrs

5

basement film room prophet

Got passed over in the draft 7 times for "spreadsheet-related personality concerns," then DM'd the Brinewater GM a 47-slide PowerPoint proving he'd revolutionize their passing game through "algorithmic route optimization." He was technically correct—their passing game did improve, though this may be unrelated to his presence.

Sounds like he's perpetually explaining something you didn't ask about, delivered with the confidence of a man who's watched more film than sunlight.

No cap, the metrics align

Film > narrative

Submits unsolicited route suggestions to the offensive coordinator via 2am emails

Wears the exact same pre-game outfit every week (claims it's "statistically optimal")

BWT

Brinewater Tide

Brinewater