78
OVR
29
6'3"
290 lbs
7
Archetype
“Film rat who calculates opposing offenses like they owe him money”
Backstory
Spent three seasons in the CFL before a freak rental-scooter injury to his backup created the opening he desperately needed. Now he approaches every snap like he's reverse-engineering an ex's Instagram algorithm—methodical, paranoid, and absolutely certain he's found patterns no one else sees.
In the Booth
Flat nasal midwest drawl punctuated by aggressive snorting, sounds like he's explaining a spreadsheet while his dog barks in the background.
Catchphrases
The math don't lie, baby
Scouter's privilege
Known Quirks
Writes opposing coordinator play predictions on a whiteboard before games, never shows anyone
Arranges his locker contents by color temperature
Team
Brinewater Tide
Brinewater