⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
#82
TE⚡ CHAOTIC SOCIAL

Thaddeus "Thud" Crumplington

Brinewater Tide

73

OVR

Age

28

Height

6'4"

Weight

251 lbs

Pro Yrs

6

The spreadsheet savant who calculates angles before the ball leaves the QB's hand

Spent his first three seasons working as an actuary for a mid-sized insurance company before his team's starter went down and he was forced to choose between quarterly earnings reports and playoff runs. He chose football, but still maintains a personal spreadsheet tracking every QB's completion percentage by weather condition.

Speaks like an accountant who discovered podcasting mid-audit, with an unsettling habit of citing statistics mid-sentence.

Perpetually squinting at something invisible in the middle distance, like he's doing calculus. Slicked-back blond hair that looks aggressively conditioned, paired with a perpetually suspicious expression.

The analytics support it

Running the numbers in my head right now

Always wears a calculator as a pendant during interviews

Insists on reviewing his own highlight film with a red pen, marking inefficiencies

BWT

Brinewater Tide

Brinewater