⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
#25
DL

Thorne Bristle

Brinewater Tide

78

OVR

Age

29

Height

6'5"

Weight

298 lbs

Pro Yrs

6

The Grudge Keeper

Thorne was drafted by the Tide after scouts noticed him charting offensive plays in a notebook during his college games instead of making tackles. Now he studies footage so obsessively that opposing coaches suspect he's somehow receiving their halftime adjustments via osmosis.

Speaks in measured, oddly specific statistics, like he's narrating a nature documentary about his own defensive line.

The data said you were coming

I've been waiting for this moment since the second quarter of Week 3, 2023

Keeps a laminated spreadsheet of every opposing lineman's pregame food orders

Argues with refs about exact penalty timestamps to cross-reference with lunar phases

BWT

Brinewater Tide

Brinewater