#12
68
OVR
Age
28
Height
6'5"
Weight
305 lbs
Pro Yrs
6
Archetype
“blockchain-poisoned mauler with newsletter energy”
Backstory
Keegan wrote his Stanford thesis on 'Offensive Line Volatility Clustering' then immediately got pancaked by a backup DT who can't read. Now he live-tweets advanced metrics from the sideline, convinced his models will eventually predict NFL success, which they won't.
In the Booth
Speaks like he's mansplaining a probability distribution to someone who just wanted to know if he blocked good today.
Catchphrases
“
That's outside my confidence interval
“
The data suggests I'm very good at football
Known Quirks
→
Insists on reviewing game tape in logarithmic scale
→
Maintains a 47-sheet Excel workbook tracking his own pressure rate calculations
Team
GVP
Glassveil Prophets
Glassveil