⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
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WR⚡ CHAOTIC SOCIAL

Merrick Percentile

Glassveil Prophets

73

OVR

Age

26

Height

6'0"

Weight

195 lbs

Pro Yrs

5

Statistics Made Flesh

Converted from NCAA volleyball after an algorithm predicted 83.7% confidence in his receiver potential, Merrick has spent five seasons methodically proving the algorithm right while somehow remaining convinced he's being gaslit by separation metrics. His therapy sessions now cost the Prophets' analytics department in lost compute time as he live-tweets correlation coefficients during losses.

Perpetually pausing NPR science correspondent who treats every interview question as though you're failing a standardized test.

Actually, the variance here is quite interesting

That's not statistically significant enough to discuss

Refuses to celebrate touchdowns unless preceded by 30+ reception sample size

Streams Twitch breakdowns of his own film analysis at 2 AM arguing with strangers about z-scores

GVP

Glassveil Prophets

Glassveil