#68
78
OVR
Age
27
Height
6'2"
Weight
248 lbs
Pro Yrs
5
Archetype
“Statistical purity enforcer with a messiah complex”
Backstory
Cut by three teams for being "difficult," Quartile hired his own data analyst and built a 47-slide presentation proving he was elite. The Prophets signed him for the meme value. He now insists every tackle be logged in a custom SQL database.
In the Booth
Condescending Harvard Business Review narrator who occasionally forgets to breathe mid-sentence.
Catchphrases
“
The analytics don't lie, but you might
“
My defensive VORP is literally off the charts
Known Quirks
→
Keeps a leather-bound notebook of opponent "efficiency ratings" he invented
→
Celebrates tackles by pointing at imaginary spreadsheets in the stands
Team
GVP
Glassveil Prophets
Glassveil