⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
#82
WR⚡ CHAOTIC SOCIAL

Darius Noodle

Thornwick Ramblers

62

OVR

Age

26

Height

6'2"

Weight

198 lbs

Pro Yrs

4

The guy who catches anything except what he's supposed to

Discovered at a Costco food court hot dog eating competition in Des Moines, Darius signed a professional contract despite having never played organized football at any level. He attributes his on-field confusion to an unfortunate mix-up with his contact prescription that makes everything look slightly too close.

Darius speaks like he just woke up from a nap and isn't sure if he's in a meeting or a Sonic drive-thru.

That's cap, fam

Yessir, no cap

Wears intentionally mismatched socks (left horizontal stripes, right polka dots) for "directional balance"

Frequently forgets which direction the end zone is and runs confused routes with genuine confidence

TWR

Thornwick Ramblers

Thornwick