⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD⚡ WEEK 8: BEHEMOTHS 27 · RAMBLERS 14⚡ TIDE HOLD ON 21-17 OVER SPECTERS⚡ CHUNK THE DOG HAS HIS OWN TRADING CARD NOW⚡ ENGINES OFFENSIVE LINE VOTED MOST TERRIFYING IN SPORTS⚡ PROPHETS ANALYTICS BLOG NOW 47 PAGES · NOBODY READ IT⚡ COLLECTIVE RUN TRICK PLAY FROM OWN 12 · IT WORKED⚡ BRENDA KILLICK HAS OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR TEAM⚡ SAINTS STILL REBUILDING · YEAR 17 OF THE REBUILD
#82
WR⚡ CHAOTIC SOCIAL

Darius Noodle

Thornwick Ramblers

62

OVR

Age

26

Height

6'2"

Weight

198 lbs

Pro Yrs

4

“The guy who catches anything except what he's supposed to”

Discovered at a Costco food court hot dog eating competition in Des Moines, Darius signed a professional contract despite having never played organized football at any level. He attributes his on-field confusion to an unfortunate mix-up with his contact prescription that makes everything look slightly too close.

Darius speaks like he just woke up from a nap and isn't sure if he's in a meeting or a Sonic drive-thru.

“

That's cap, fam

“

Yessir, no cap

→

Wears intentionally mismatched socks (left horizontal stripes, right polka dots) for "directional balance"

→

Frequently forgets which direction the end zone is and runs confused routes with genuine confidence

TWR

Thornwick Ramblers

Thornwick