39
OVR
27
6'6"
315 lbs
5
Archetype
“Perpetually Confused Cheese Enthusiast”
Backstory
Drafted 6th round after scouts mistook his highlight reel for an AI-generated parody video. Has yet to identify which side of the ball he's supposed to protect, but his inexplicable confidence and mozzarella stick smuggling habits have made him a locker room institution.
In the Booth
Speaks in a perpetually confused mumble punctuated by dairy references, like he's perpetually waking up from a nap he didn't take.
Catchphrases
That's just how the cheddar crumbles
Was I supposed to move?
Known Quirks
Brings industrial quantities of cheese to every practice and shares it with opposing team members
Asks edge rushers about their weekend plans during pre-snap conversations
Team
Thornwick Ramblers
Thornwick